Santa Monica Beach

After releasing my expectations of grandeur about the earth exchange I showed up and held it.

On my way to the site I walked past a music festival going on north of santa monica pier and past a whole slew of summer relaxing folks enjoying themselves in the california sun.

I felt a desire to “be one of the beautiful people” and was aware of feeling separate from this “playland” atmosphere. At the same time I felt myself becoming imbibed with a warmth and groundedness as I connected to the earth beneath the superficiality of material wealth, time and frivolous activities.

Arriving at the site I was immediately aware of a change in the feeling of the sand. I felt as if I was in a waste land within paradise. I noticed the propensity to chastise myself, thinking “there is all of this beauty going on out there and around you and you choose to camp out here in the middle of nothing to ‘make joy’ instead of participating in the joy that is already going on around you. This is some kind of sorry infatuation with sadness that you have going on.”

As these thoughts were going through me I chose to relax and allow them while consistently holding myself in love. As I relaxed at the site of my earth exchange I found a renewed sense of self respect. I recalled a passing remark from a brief conversation with a stranger on my walk to the site. Two young men were headed to the nearby rock concert on the beach. I invited them to the exchange and one remarked, commending me for remembering and bringing attention to the forgotten and wounded part of this festive area.

With renewed validation I applied myself to loving this place through my own wounds. Deepening my connection I could feel that my sadness and negative thoughts were connected to the icky feeling of the sand from years of run-off rain water draining off of the streets and through the bowels of Los Angeles sewers belching onto it.

As I began to be consumed by negativity and started to “check out” from the experience, my friend Erin appeared to share this experience with me, and my desire to play, and make joy came alive. After greeting and sharing a bit of food we decided to build a mandala.

I found it difficult to focus my energies as I continued to slip into instability feeling ungrounded in the wounded place. Drawing on the support of erin I continued to relax about my instability, insecurity and found solace again relaxing into my emotions.

Faltering at first, but with growing strength and confidence we created a small sand art painting, danced and sang in and around it as the sun set.

This was my earth exchange. In the process of bringing joy to a forgotten place in the midst of the california dream I opened up a piece of my own self and allowed it to heal—if only in a small way. Sincerely, Baylen Slote M.A. TCM, L.Ac.
 wholistic healing artist