Story Info
Story Info
Claire Hayes
Dunshaughlin, Ireland
2012
Type of Wounded Place
Story & Experience
The magic is working and has spread all the way to my most wounded place—the place where I live and which I am transforming into my home. I had two Australian girls saying with me last night and in the process of getting the house ready for them I ended up literally throwing the clothes which needed to be ironed, the paperwork I have had on my kitchen table for months and other stuff into the room that is my “don’t want to go in there room”. I have had no joy whatsoever from this ugliness.
After the girls went into Dublin, I sat in the room on the floor and did Bryon Katie’s work. I realised very quickly that I was being so critical and full of hatred for the messy, disorganised places in me. I used her turn-around to realise that I am proud of me, and that that is true, despite or maybe because of the wounded places in me. I sang out loud a hymn I learned when I made my first Holy Communion when I was six years old: “Give me joy in my heart / keep me praising.” Then I realised that my bum was sore and maybe I should get a cushion to suit on. That was the breakthrough point. I suddenly realised that all I needed to do was too closed to be more comfortable. I burned incense I bought when I visited Mother Madras on Germany treetop years ago. I lit a candle, brought flowers into the room, did some shedding, moved my clothes back into the kitchen and I am about to iron, with beautiful music playing. My iPod is on shuffle and has played joyful music from the secret garden, Jupiter from “The Planets”, Bach and now Grieg “Morning” is playing. For the first time in so long I do not feel useless, overwhelmed, exhausted. Today is one of the few Saturdays which I have spent in my home in six months and the only one in which I am not entertaining. I am being blessed with a sense of peace.
Today is about my discovering radical joy in my wounded places rather than working to tidy and fix so that I can achieve, tick the boxes and prove that I have been good. I don’t know how different my home will look by this evening but I am so grateful to feel joy.
The magic is working and has spread all the way to my most wounded place—the place where I live and which I am transforming into my home. I had two Australian girls saying with me last night and in the process of getting the house ready for them I ended up literally throwing the clothes which needed to be ironed, the paperwork I have had on my kitchen table for months and other stuff into the room that is my “don’t want to go in there room”. I have had no joy whatsoever from this ugliness.
After the girls went into Dublin, I sat in the room on the floor and did Bryon Katie’s work. I realised very quickly that I was being so critical and full of hatred for the messy, disorganised places in me. I used her turn-around to realise that I am proud of me, and that that is true, despite or maybe because of the wounded places in me. I sang out loud a hymn I learned when I made my first Holy Communion when I was six years old: “Give me joy in my heart / keep me praising.” Then I realised that my bum was sore and maybe I should get a cushion to suit on. That was the breakthrough point. I suddenly realised that all I needed to do was too closed to be more comfortable. I burned incense I bought when I visited Mother Madras on Germany treetop years ago. I lit a candle, brought flowers into the room, did some shedding, moved my clothes back into the kitchen and I am about to iron, with beautiful music playing. My iPod is on shuffle and has played joyful music from the secret garden, Jupiter from “The Planets”, Bach and now Grieg “Morning” is playing. For the first time in so long I do not feel useless, overwhelmed, exhausted. Today is one of the few Saturdays which I have spent in my home in six months and the only one in which I am not entertaining. I am being blessed with a sense of peace.
Today is about my discovering radical joy in my wounded places rather than working to tidy and fix so that I can achieve, tick the boxes and prove that I have been good. I don’t know how different my home will look by this evening but I am so grateful to feel joy.
Dunshaughlin, Ireland
RECENT STORIES
For the Gulf Coast
Our beaches are being bombarded almost daily since the end of the first week of the sinking of the Deep Water Horizon with gatherings of people or all stripes: protests, prayer groups, volunteers, rallies for [...]
Remembrance Day for Lost Species in Helsinki 2023
On November 30th, there was first a session organized by the Finnish social and health sector project about eco-anxiety and eco-emotions (www.ymparistoahdistus.fi). This “morning coffee roundtable”, a hybrid event, focused this time on ecological grief [...]
Ashdown Forest
Ashdown Forest is an area of natural beauty in West Sussex, England. It is also one of the very few remaining areas of extensive lowland heath left in Europe. This rare and threatened landscape is [...]