Today I write with the heartbreaking news that my beloved husband, Andy Gardner, is close to death. He was diagnosed with liver cancer a week ago and has been declining steadily ever since.
I will be spending the next month beginning to learn the long, excruciating lesson of living without him and organizing financial and legal matters. I am taking a complete break from Radical Joy for Hard Times until September 14.
But I discovered something amazing this morning as I sat on the porch at the hospice watching the Earth awaken in the woods. I have known since I was a little girl that great beauty, light, and love can pierce you in the midst of great sorrow. Today I realized that by opening up to grief, we also find ourselves capable of giving even more beauty, light, and love. I am grateful beyond measure for the love of my friends, the gorgeous endurance of the Earth, and small acts like the kindness of a doctor who lovingly touched my hand at the end of her visit yesterday. There is beauty everywhere if we’ll just look.
I have written in my book that we could think of care for the Earth as a form of hospice. The more fearlessly loving we are—of Earth, people, our calling—the more we are blessed with beauty and grace.
- IMG 0976: Liz Brensinger